Some Extra Cash!

Our apartment complex told us that we are going to save 300 dollars on our rent this month because I referred them to my employer’s corporate discount program!

I have all of my christmas either bought or budgeted out, and with the wedding date pushed back (i.e. more time to save up for that…) I finally have a little extra cash for me to dedicate to finding my mom. I’m going to send for it next week!

What a sweet/bittersweet Christmas gift this paperwork will be…

A Tidbit of Information

When I sent away for my file last week, I posted a status update about it on facebook, hoping to share the news with my other adopted friends. I had forgotten that I had recently become facebook friends with my stepmother and that she would also see my status update. When she came back from vacation, she must have checked it and told my Dad that I was looking for my file because he called me, telling me not to shell out the money for it. I was shocked to hear he had a file, any file related to my adoption. My adoptive mom is a little controlling  and I cannot imagine her allowing such important paperwork to be split between two different homes, two different people.

My spidey sense went off again when he told me “You can have it as long as you don’t tell your mom I have it”. When I tried to ask why he had papers separate from what my mom had, he quickly backpedaled and tried to tell me that what he has was different. Since that conversation four days ago, he has told me several different, conflicting things about why he has it. I don’t really care to delve deeper into his lies, I just need my information. I went over to his house

Saturday afternoon to get it from him. I was hoping it would have some non identifying information, or some sort of link that would jump start my search. I was not sure what to expect, but was anxious to see it. When I got there, he tried to tell me that I could not take it home with me. That he would give it to me to keep when I was older. I am now 22 years old. Exactly how much older should I be before I am allowed to have my truth?  Eventually I was able to persuade him to allow me copies of the information.

Fast forward to today, four days later. I have the paperwork. It sits in a stack on my desk, waiting for me to pick through it with a fine tooth comb. Most of the information in it is related to post adoption information. There’s a sheet from my well baby checkup after my parents adopted me, a medical sheet with information that flew with me on the plane, and a couple of pages with information on Korean books and culture to share with your new Korean adoptee.

 There is one thing that sticks out. It is a worn out looking piece of paper, handwritten with sort of a time line on what happened with me after I was left by my biological parents. It says I was left by “unmarried parent” at Dae Jeon “Foster Home”. I don’t really know if this is a foster home, an orphanage, or with a foster family. I am not really sure what they meant by that.

It appears from the time line that I lived at the Dae Jeon foster home from August 24th until September 11th, when I was transferred to another in Seoul. I am trying to take everything at face value, and to read between the lines, but my mind is spinning with the knowledge that I was kept for a month and some change before I was relinquished.

Wherever my family is, I know they TRIED. They wanted to keep me, and they tried to keep me. I got to be with her for a month. An entire month. Having information to look at is mind blowing. It makes everything so real. Where I was once able to turn my back with no hope, I am now obsessing over the smallest details on a 22 year old piece of paper as if I could see their faces in it the more I stare at it.

The information isn’t much, but it is enough to give me hope that I may in fact be reunited with my family and reclaim my truth.