Archive for June, 2009

Nothing Yet

I haven’t heard anything back from Welcome House yet. I called and left a detailed message (including contact information) asking for a return call regarding the specifics of their search program.

That was Friday afternoon.

It is now Tuesday morning.

I’m kind of on the fence about calling back…Should I wait a couple more days to see if someone returns my call? Or should I try calling back and see if I get a live person on the phone this time. I’m leaning towards not calling back and waiting a few more days for a call. But really, that is just the coward in me, trying hard to stay away from anything that might hurt me or upset me.

Ah, I wish they would just call back! But I suppose they are too busy calling prospective parents and prospective “birth mothers” to bother with a silly little ungrateful adoptee who wants to find her “real” family.


June 30, 2009 at 8:34 am 1 comment

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

Today I am missing you more than I ever have.

I am waiting to hear back from the agency that placed me with my adoptive family. I hope they have information that will lead me back to you, but I can’t be sure of anything. There are no guarantees, no promises. No relief.

I feel gutted and raw. I am weak from my grief. Missing you is tearing me up inside.

For now I am hoping to hear some good news. Maybe I will find some new information on us.

I love you more than you know,
Your daughter.

June 29, 2009 at 8:59 am Leave a comment

A First Step

I just called my agency and left a message asking a question about their search policies….

I’m hoping there’s a way to get information other than paying 125 bucks for what is rightfully already mine.

I’ll update when I know more.

June 26, 2009 at 10:57 am 2 comments

Birth Day


Yesterday I got to thinking about my birthday.

 The date that is on my birth certificate, my driver’s license, and all of my other documents is July fourteenth. But according to the adoptive mom and the adoption agency, that date is just an estimation. I could have been born yesterday, today, two weeks from now, or later than my given birthdate.

 An estimation? That is not good enough for me. I want to know at the very least what ACTUAL  day it was that I came into the world. Was it a Monday or a Tuesday? Was it the weekend? I have no real way of knowing.

 I have always known that my birthday was an estimation. Since I was little I remember asking my mom something about the day I was born and her telling me that they really did not know what day I was born. “They made it up I guess” I remember her saying. “It would have been cool if they made your birthday the fourth of July.” She said. “You could have had fireworks on your birthday every year.”

 At the very least, I am thankful someone did NOT decide my birthdate should be July fourth. Like salt rubbed into a wound, fireworks and celebration would be a cruel way to mark a day that holds so much sadness for me.

June 25, 2009 at 2:55 pm Leave a comment

New Blog

I just wanted to let you all know that I added a new blog… It’s called John and Kate’s DIY Wedding and follows us planning the wedding and all of our other adventures along the way. I’m hoping to be able to split my time equally between these two, but you never know.

Thanks for checking it out!

June 24, 2009 at 7:06 am Leave a comment

Promises, Promises


I swear to myself that the next time I have and extra hundred and twenty five dollars I will send the signed and notarized paperwork to my adoption agency for my non identifying information and to initiate a search with them.

 I promise myself I will no longer procrastinate or hesitate because of a fear of the unknown. I will not hold myself back because I fear rejection. I will not use the (valid) excuse of not having the money. I will not keep myself from getting as close to truth as I can.

 I vow to do my best to find my natural mom. I will tell her I have forgiven her, I have missed her, and hope she still loves me.

 I pledge all of those things and promise to be fearless. I will not look back. I will not go back.

June 17, 2009 at 2:34 pm Leave a comment

Take a Second to Help our Cause

One of the most shocking things I learned about adoption when I started learning more about it online, was that the original birth certificates of adult adoptees are sealed after adoption and are supposed to remain that way forever.

In a post 9/11 America, not being able to access your original birth certificate makes it difficult for some law abiding, American citizens to obtain passports to take vacations, go on honeymoons, or travel for business.

It is a violation of our civil rights as United States citizens and tax payers to not be able to access our original birth certificates. Some states now have open records, but most still remain sealed.

Please join me in signing this petition in support of opening records for adult adoptees. It is easy to fill out and will automatically send a letter to your local representatives. You can edit the letter if you would like, but if you do not want to edit the letter it will take SECONDS of your time. Please give up a few seconds today to go to and support open records.

June 17, 2009 at 9:09 am Leave a comment

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