Things Change…But Stay the Same

I’ve been gone so long I doubt anyone still reads this, much less cares at all what I’ve been up to…My last few posts were nearly a year ago! I can’t believe how much my life has changed since I was here last, and yet how much things stay the same. Honestly, I think that’s one of the hardest “coming of age” lessons to learn…that things change but always stay the same.

Anyway, I recently (four Saturdays ago!) married my sweetheart. I won’t get too cliché and go all “he’s the love of my life” or anything, but I will say that it finally feels right to say I was “chosen” by someone. Okay…enough cheese J

I’ve also started a photography business for myself. Over the last summer I became increasingly obsessed with my camera…to the point where I was outside on the patio taking shots of my engagement ring on the wood background so I could learn how to use the macro setting on our point and shoot. Fall came around and the obsession lingered so I bought myself a DSLR as an early Christmas gift. After reading that Katelyn James (a wedding photographer I admire) said her best advice for newbies was to learn to shoot full manual, I set out to teach myself just that.  Well fast forward six months and I’ve booked three wedding photography gigs and a handful of portrait sessions. I feel very honored that people really seem to like my work, but at the same time this can be kind of tough for me because I’m always concerned with what people think, if people will like me, and if I’m really even capable at being good enough. It seems like photography has helped me get out of my shell a little more…having to direct client meetings and pose strangers for portraits will do that to you.

I also said goodbye to my younger sister…she joined the Army and moved away. I spent the spring missing her and have spent a lot of time being depressed about all of the goodbyes we’ve had to say. Just thinking about the goodbyes is so hard it makes my chest hurt. I’m not cut out for it…not in the least bit. I don’t think anyone really is…but I spent the week before my wedding sad because she wasn’t supposed to be able to come. (Spoiler: she made it at the last minute) It’s not healthy and I could feel my old sadness making its way into the pit of me.

So to summarize a crazy year-ish in my life since I’ve been gone…some happiness, a new (ad)venture, and the same old emo me. It’s crazy how things change but always stay the same.