Adoption Quiz Time

March 5, 2010 at 8:36 am 3 comments

I stole this from my awesome friend Christina who posted it on her blog “Out of the Fog”. If you haven’t been to her site yet, check it out! She’s a great writer and always has something interesting to say. I love hearing her POV on things.

1. How old were you when you were adopted?

I was maybe four months old? Allegedly born in July and adopted in late November.

2. How were you told you had been adopted and at what age?

I can’t remember a time I didn’t know. But then, it’s hard to hide it and lie about it when you are a different race.

3. Were you ever spoken to in a negative way about being adopted by friends, classmates or family members?

Not particularly by my adoptive family…But classmates were known to ask questions like “Why didn’t your real mom want you?” and things like that. Which I suppose are valid questions, even questions I ask myself. But they hurt me a lot at the time.
4. How did you handle questions or comments about your adoption?

Back then? Yikes. I’m sure I was full of sunshine and cupcakes about adoption. I really did believe those sickeningly sweet things I spouted about adoption. I think mostly it was a coping mechanism. Now I keep my statements short, simple, and factual. I don’t speak of it much because it is so damn personal and it’s hard to verbalize it sometimes.

5. Did you ever seek out your birth parent(s)?

Yes/no. As you can see from reading my blog, it’s been really difficult for me to get started on my search. Fear is holding me back at this point. I’m a coward, I know.

6. Were your adoptive parents supportive of your decision to meet or to find your birth parent(s)?

I haven’t given them the chance to be supportive because I haven’t told them. I’m not emotionally ready for that conversation or for having to be responsible for how other people feel about the situation.

7. What made you want to find your birth parent(s) or to meet them?

Natural curiosity. The need to know someone with my same DNA. The desire to find out where I came from and to know I’m not really alone.

8. Has adoption affected you positively or negatively?

More negatively than positvely. But there are some good kernels of happiness that have come to me too. But really more in spite of it than because of it.

9. Do you have siblings? Biological or adopted?

My adoptive sister is a domestic adoptee.
10. If you have adopted siblings, was it beneficial to have someone you could relate to?

We don’t really relate about adoption. She has too much on her plate to be able to open up about how it’s affected her. Right now we’re not able to have those conversations.

11. Do you view adoption in a positive light?

Not really. But it’s not adoption per say that I hate so much. It’s relinquishment.

12. Would you like to adopt? Why?

No. I don’t really feel that adoptees make good adoptive parents. I think there would really be too much reparenting of our old selves to really do any good for a child.

13. Any advice for adoptive parents whose children may be experiencing negative feelings about being adopted?

Acknowledge the loss. Help get them into therapy with a counselor who has experience in treating adoptees.

14. What would be your number one piece of advice for adoptive parents?

Again, acknowledge the loss. That is huge.

15. Anything else you would like to share? Anything prospective adoptive parents or those who have already adopted should know?

Culture and heritage are huge. Understand that diversity is beautiful and if you adopt interracially you need to ensure your child is well immersed within their heritage. It’s who they are and if you love them, you love that part too.

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Poverty and Relinquishing Moms…A Fairy Tale?? Get Your Vote On

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Christina  |  March 5, 2010 at 8:42 am

    Wonderful answers Kate..I don’t think I’ve asked but can I add you to my blogroll? Didn’t want to just do it without checking 😉

    Love you sweet girl,
    Christina

    Reply
    • 2. kateiskate  |  March 5, 2010 at 8:58 am

      Of course! I would be honored! I put you in mine if that’s okay. 🙂 Love you too!

      Reply
      • 3. Christina  |  March 5, 2010 at 9:43 am

        Absolutely! 🙂

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