Five Things the Partner of an Adoptee Should Know

June 9, 2009 at 8:09 am 5 comments


1. Don’t ever pretend to leave me. I was abandoned. I don’t take abandonment lightly.

2. Sometimes I will have self esteem issues and have trouble loving myself. This is when you have to make up the deficit and love me enough for the both of us.

3. More than likely I will try to push you away so that you leave me before it hurts too bad or before you can decide that I’m just inherently unlovable.

4. It’s not you, it’s me.

5.  I’m doing my best.


Entry filed under: Love.

In the Matter of Race… Forgiveness

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. spangie  |  June 9, 2009 at 10:21 am


  • 2. Fakeemailandsomeoneyoushouldgetusedto  |  June 12, 2009 at 3:02 pm

    Thats hilarious.

    Everyone has problems. Everyone deals with it.

    I hope to god that your partner has alot of tolerance for pity parties.

    • 3. kateiskate  |  June 12, 2009 at 4:53 pm

      Hi Teri!
      I’m glad you found my blog. I hope you can gain something positive from my blog and my heartfelt thoughts that I have put out here for people to think about.

      Thanks for the kind words about my partner. I am actually engaged to marry him next year.

      I am sorry to hear about the fertility problems that you and your partner are experiencing. That must be difficult for you.

      Sending lots of positive thoughts your way,

  • 4. Darci  |  June 13, 2009 at 1:06 pm

    Hi Kate,

    Wow. These are really, really good. I’m going to share them with my husband. After 20 years of marriage I am just NOW getting how much these things that you write of affect my relationships on a daily basis. Your insight into this will give you a head start heading into your own marriage.

    Darci (Cruzgirl on Yahoo and AAAC)

  • 5. msdiababy  |  June 26, 2010 at 10:51 pm

    i really appreciate you writing this list…especially number 1. i have a big issue as with all adoptees with abandonment. i dont like when people play games like that. your list has given me alot to think about


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed

June 2009
« May   Jul »

Blog Stats

  • 12,732 hits

I made this widget at

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 6 other followers

%d bloggers like this: